"Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."-Proverbs 18:21
You've heard of the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Unfortunately, that saying isn't true. The message is meant to say that words don't hurt, but in reality they really do. Words have a power of hurting you to your core. When this happens, it takes a lot for someone to recover from being on the receiving end of those hurtful words. Yes, you can apologize, but an apology won't take away the memory of what was said.
When you're upset with your husband, do you do whatever it takes to make sure that he hurts like you do? Do you belittle him? Do you attack his insecurities to make him feel horrible? Many will argue and say that it was done to them first so they're getting their lick back. So here's where you can be the "adult" in the situation...don't retaliate.
Yes don't strike back. I know it sounds easier said than done, but you don't want to retalitate in a situation like that. In tough situations where words are flying left and right like bullets...take the opportunity to either sit it out and walk away, or use it to use your words in a loving way...not a hateful one. The Most High saw all of it. He saw what your husband said and did...and he will deal with him accordingly. He also saw what you did and said too. He will deal with you as well. Do you really want that smoke? Think about that. Do you really want the punishment for something that could've been easily fixed? I would hope and think not.
Changing your thought process and how you speak to your spouse is one of the hardest mindsets to change. You have to think completely different and it's a process that hurts. Yeah it hurts because sometimes you have to take those hits in order to get right. But Sis, sometimes you have those coming, if you really think about it. If you've been hurting your husband with your words, he's literally getting his licks back. Or if he's wise...he's not going to use his words to hurt you at all. He's going to want to work it out so that you don't come back to that place of hurt ever again.
Apologize to each other. Make sure the other feels better enough so that you can both pray and move on from the hurt feelings. Work together on how you got to that place of hurt...and now work together on how you can navigate away from that place. When you work together, you will be stronger together as well. Also forgive yourself. A lot of words come from the heart from a hurt place. It's not just what was said to you, it's also what you think of yourself on some level. Your projections come out in ways you don't realize. Work on yourself so that those insecurities don't cost you relationships.